The Great Escape

My name is Shady and I am in jail.  I've got a cell mate called Billy Bob Junior {he's fat} and we are planning to escape.  We're planning to rob the Millennium dome.  We're trying to break out tomorrow if we can.  Every time the guards came we would have to cover the hole with the bed.  It was 12:30 and and we decided to escape.  We found a police car outside and decided to enter the car.  After a while we noticed two policemen eating donuts.  We found glass on the ground and we then slit their throats.  We threw them into the boot of the car.  When we were driving around Billy Bob JR found a gun, knife and two badges.  We stopped at the bar and a gang of gangsters said'-'What are u doing in our seats'. I said 'take it out side'.  He said 'all right boy'.  There were 3 of them and 2 of us.  One person cut Billy Bobs hand.  Then I pulled out a knife and stuck him in the chest and the other people ran.  The barman rang the cops so we acted quickly when we saw a police car up the road.  They were filling up the car with petrol.  We came up and put in clothes into the petrol tank.  We then put the clothes on fire.  The guard was getting out to pay when it blew up.  He went flying across the road.........

  After the cop was burned to hell we saw another car.  We shot the driver. We checked the boot and found some machine guns and some rocket launchers.  Tony, a prison in-mate was released today.  He saw what happened and went off to the cops. I took out a rocket launcher and aimed at his head. I fired. It hit him when he reached the station.  The whole station blew up. 10 cops came towards us.  So I threw ninja death stars at them and chopped their sorry heads off. We left one man alive and then we tortured him. We poured gasoline all over him and strapped a grenade to his head. I said tell us where the dome is or I'll pull the pin.  He gave us answers so we gave him a fag, We then drove to the dome.  About half a mile down the road we heard an explosion.  " I wonder what that was" I said sarcastically.  We reached the dome at 10.00 pm.  It was crawling with cops. I took out my rocket launcher and blew them all away. I picked up a key from one of the guards.  Bingo.  It opened the door of the dome.  We looked around.  The place was huge.  But eventually, we saw it, the diamond...  

We grabbed it as fast as possible.  Suddenly the alarm went off.  Just then the police raced in so Billy Bob Junior picked up his rocket launcher and blew the police to bits. Shady and Tony were laughing crazily until a B.M.W raced in and was heading right for us.  Just in the nick of time we jumped out of the way of the BMW. It was James Bond.  He had a bright shiny golden gun. He was shooting at us.  Shady jumped for his machine gun and fired at James Bond.  Shady had killed James Bond.  We highjacked a forklift machine and drove over hundreds of policemen.  Suddenly Jack- the Ripper was coming right for us with a sword in his hand. He jumped on to the forklift and cut off Tony's head.  Shady threw the rest of Tony's Bloody body over the lift.  Shady picked up a gun and fired it at Jack The Ripper and blew his brains out.  Suddenly Shady had an idea.  He told it to Billy Bob Junior So they went back to Jack The Ripper and James Bond. They took their clothes and put them on themselves. They took 007s car and drove it to the airport. Then they abandoned it. They bought two tickets to Spain and they lived happily ever after in Torremolenos.  They were known as The Bloody Bandits.

Section 1:    Newmarket Boys' N.S., Newmarket, Mallow, Co. Cork

Section 2:    Dromina N.S., Charleville, Co. Cork

Section 3:    Newtownshandrum N.S., Newtownshandrum, Charleville, Co. Cork