The Great Escape

The year is 3000 and we are the Jamaican secret service.  My name is Zulu and I am 8 feet tall with jet-black hair.  My favourite gadget is a flying skateboard. I'm the general of the group, Mon.  Next is sergeant Yulla.  He has white hair and he loves yan-can-cook and his favourite gadget  is his multi purpose B.M.W.  Last is Bobby Marley.  He has 200 multi-coloured dreadlocks and his favourite gadget is his foldable helicopter.   

We were in the local bar drinking Malibu (It was seriously easy going, Mon). Suddenly our watches went off.  'Ahh, potty break' we said as an excuse and sprinted out the door.  We went down the road and jumped into an old beetle (car).  I lifted the steering wheel and typed in 2555.  The seats moved back and a tunnel a tunnel appeared, Mon.  We were wearing shorts and T-shirts at the time and with the touch of a button we were wearing sleek suits, except for Bobby, who was wearing a multi-coloured hat.  We legged it down the tunnel and met our supervisor.  "001000 OOZ2 and 0045, we've got a crisis on our hands". Having been told that Slobadon Malosavich was resurrected and was now a giant cyborg, Bobby said "That is not seriously easy-going, Mon."

As we reached our destination we noticed that there were three men in a barrel.  "Spies! Ah we'll soon fix that, Mon".  I nailed the barrel shut and rolled it down the hill into a brick wall.  'That has got to hurt, Mon'.  We saw a sign 'FREE MALIBU' outside a bar.  'Let's go in.' We agreed.  When we ordered our drinks, we were surrounded by a group of spies.  They shot a dart at St. Yulla's behind.  They soon caught us and took us to their prison .......

On our way to prison Sergeant Yulla kept on saying "this is not  good, mon." It was like he was in a trance but then we remembered that he was shot with a dart in his behind. So that must be the reason he kept repeating himself . And when we got to the prison they threw us in like a piece of rubbish but never checked us. Stupid! mon. Bobby Marley had an automatic laser in his shoe and I had a metal plate in my head.. Bobby also had a fold up helicopter.  We used the lazer in his shoe to melt the lock of the cell and to escape, but Zula was tied up in leg cuffs. So we used the lazer to hit the metal plate in my head and melt the cuffs.  We ran through the prison maze and we eventually came to the end of the tunnel.  It stopped at a manhole and we went through it.  We climbed out silently and we saw that we were on an all-year round playing pitch.  Bobby said it would take him 30 minutes to assemble the foldable helicopter together.  Suddenly we saw lights flashing and a voice saying "criminal convicts have escaped from the prison.....

"This is not easy going Mon," said Bobby.  "I think I need a Malibu Mon".  "Run Mon run," said Yulla.  "I better get the multi-purpose B.M.W. out Mon," said Yulla.  "FREE MALIBU MON", said Bobby.  Bobby drank too much Malibu and fell on the ground.  We dragged him to the car while he was singing "my Uncle John from Jamaica Mon".  We drove away in our classy car, while Zulu slapped Bobby.  Bobby said "That's sore man".  Then Yulla spotted spies driving behind us.  Finally Bobby finished his foldable helicopter.  Yulla said, "No you can't.  Do you want to die Mon?"  "Okay, Mon, you're coming even if I have to put you into my pocket as well as your stupid little car Mon" said Zulu.  "Okay," said Yulla.   He pushed the shrink button in his car to shrink it and he put it in his pocket, Mon.  We were in Bobby's foldable helicopter.  In the distance we saw Slobadon Malosavich, the resurrected cyborg.  Bobby was about to say 'he is not easy going Mon' but the cyborg spotted us.  He hit the helicopter with his big bulky hand.  Yulla fell out and Zulu few down on his flying skateboard and saved Yulla.  Zulu thought of a plan.  He was going to reflect the laser beam off the metal plate on his head to hit the cyborg in between the eyes.  The cyborg shot his laser at Bobby in the helicopter.  Zulu jumped in the way and the beam hit the cyborg in between the eyes.  The cyborg was destroyed.  We decided to celebrate with a round of Malibu Mon.  Bobby said, "This is very easy going, Mon.  Yea. Malibu, Mon. I love this life style, Mon!"

Section 1:    Newmarket Boys' N.S., Newmarket, Mallow, Co. Cork

Section 2:    Dromina N.S., Charleville, Co. Cork

Section 3:    Newtownshandrum N.S., Newtownshandrum, Charleville, Co. Cork