Our Jokes

Why is a football stadium always cool? Because there's a fan in every seat.			What happens when the price of pork goes up? Pigs fly!
How do you know that the world won't come to an end? Because it's round.			Why are basketball courts always so wet? Because the players dribble so much.
Who gets a lot kicks out of his job? A footballer.		On what do flees fly? British hairway's.		What do you call a man who can't stop buying mats? A rug addict.
What do miners play in the pit? Mineopoly.			Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds. OK, I'm leaving right away. I'll be with you in a minute.
Depend: Not the shallow part of swimming pool.	When do ghosts haunt skyscrapers? When they are in high spirits.				Where do ghosts go on their holiday? The isle of fright.
Our school is a good school, Made of bricks and plaster, The only thing that’s wrong with it, is the bald Headmaster.			Mary had a little bear, to which she was so kind, and everywhere that Mary went she had a bear behind.
Was Dracula ever married? No. He was a bat chiller.			What was written on the metal monsters gravestone? Rust in peace.
Why did the fish blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom.		What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels.		Where are famous monsters buried? Westmonster abbey.
Why did the vicar put a Fence around graveyard? Because everyone was dying to get in.			Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill said, 'you twit! Now, I'll have to fill the bucket again!'
How can u make a witch scratch? Take away the w.			Where do hamsters come from? Hamsterdam.
Why was the sand wet? Because the seaweed.		There was a young lady from Surrey, Who cooked up a large pot of curry She ate the whole lot straight from the pot, And dashed to the loo in a hurry.
She stood on the bridge at midnight, Her lips were all a quiver. She gave a cough: her leg fell off and floated down the river.				What do you call a crazy blackbird? A raven lunatic.
I eat peas with honey. I've done it all my life, It makes the peas taste funny, But it keeps them on the knife.
What did the mother bee say to the baby bee? Beehive yourself!			What do you get if you cross a hi-fi with your dad? Pop Music!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed? Because he couldn't control his pupils!		How did the idiot burn his ear? The telephone rang while he was ironing!		Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat-mate.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look now. I am changing!			Why did the chicken cross the road? Don't ask me. Ask the chicken!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!		Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!!		What kind of bow is impossible to tie? A rainbow.
What did the candle say to the candle? Are you going out tonight?			What's the handiest tree? A palm tree!
One day a little boy was walking home from school in the thunder storm and his mom was worried about him. So, she got in her car and drove to his school. On her way there she saw her little boy walking home. Every time there would be a flash of thunder the little boy would stop and smile. So the mom rolled down her window and said to her son, "What are you doing"? and the little boy said "God keeps taking pictures of me".
What did the math book say to the other math book??? I have problems!			What did the firecracker say to the man? You crack me up!

Have A Laugh